Chose to be Happy

I remember a time when it seemed like my life was full of storms. It was so hard to see past the storms. Many times I found myself swimming desperately to just keep my head above the water. And yet, there were other times that I just wanted to "give up the fight" and let myself drift downward "into that good sleep."

Eventually, I reached a point in my life when enough was enough. You have to get tired of being miserable to decide to make a change. Sometimes we pity people who are mean, or who complain, or are just sad all the time, because we think their situation must be so unbearable or unchangeable. You might think, if there was something you could do, you would do it for them. But the fact is, you can guide someone to the road to happiness, but you can't walk it for them.

It takes work to be happy through the storms. You don't just wake up happy one day. You can't find your happiness in others. And likewise, others can not find their happiness in you. While its true that finding a new "love" can make you feel happiness. That happiness is only a surface happiness. And without the foundation of true happiness, that "love affair" with that special person can fade or be draining on the person that the other is depending on to keep them happy.

So, how do you find happiness? First, prayer is the most powerful tool that has ever been given to man. Anyone can pray and believe in God's healing powers. The Heavenly Father is waiting for you to come to Him in prayer.

Second, you have to realize that your circumstance does not define you. You might have had a challenging childhood. But those choices were made by the adults around you, which were out of your control. Your marriage might have failed. But, we all make mistakes. And there is always a lesson to be learned. Your bank account may be overdrawn, but you are more than your bank account. Someone you cared for deeply might have died. But death, which is a temporary resting period, is part of the Circle of Life.

Whatever the situation, the failure isn't in the fall, it's in never getting back up. You have to pick yourself up, dust the self-pity and hopelessness off, and get back up. Count it all a lesson learned and allow yourself to grow stronger and wiser.

Third, make a list of things that make you happy and do them. Visit relatives that make you laugh and/or are good support systems through trying times. Take up painting or poetry. Take a walk through the park. Visit a petting zoo. Play a few games at a local arcade. Play a sport.

Physical activity is highly recommended for several reasons. Besides physical fitness, its also a good tool for mental fitness. Walking, jogging, cycling and other sports can help to release endorphins. This is a chemical in the brain that gives us a feeling of euphoria. A good laugh can release endorphins too. But you may not be able to schedule one every morning, before you go to work.

Last, think positive. It's more than just a cliche. It actually works! It may help to make a list of things that are great in your life, or a list of things that you're grateful for. Ask yourself, "What's more important, my bank account or my health?" or "What matters most to me, my failed marriage or the safety of my children?" Remember that life is the greatest gift given to man. Hold on to those things that you hold dear.

People who think positive know that their circumstances wont last and they can look toward the future, past the current storm. These people often learn what caused the storm and how to avoid it. They know how to hold on, so that the storms don't take them under. They also realize that life is full of storms, and everyone must endure them.

People who ask "why me?" or who tend to complain quite a bit, generally are only thinking of how the situation is affecting them negatively and may not see a way out or around their circumstance. These people generally have no idea why the storm is occurring and feel that they are at the mercy of the storm, which will inevitably come again.

You have to want to be happy, then make the choice to do those things that make you happy. Pray about your situation. It most likely wont happen overnight. But if you are sincere in your efforts, you will notice that things will start to change almost immediately.

I hope you will chose to be happy. It makes life worth living.

"Remember that happiness is a way of travel, not a destination." - Roy M. Goodman

Let's Blog About It!

The best way to combat this disease known as child abuse, is to bring it out into the light! We have to learn to talk about it openly and to write about it in columns, blogs and forums – since technology allows us to have open communication with the world.

I hope you will take this opportunity to talk about your experiences, ask questions, make suggestions, give advice, uplift each other and celebrate life.

Please feel free to get comfortable in here, reach down and blog it out!